OMG Richard Dawkins!

Written by Anthony David Jacques in Humor, News, Opinion at February 24, 2012

Aren’t words funny? Really, they’re just symbols we’ve come up with to represent our ideas and communicate them with one another, yet they really can get us into trouble. Take Richard Dawkins, who has recently come under fire for fatally uttering those two words which prove any Atheist is really a closeted believer; “Oh God.”

Of course, were this logic to be broadly applied, that would mean Sir Mix A Lot’s Baby Got Back is a Christian song. After all, the opening line is, “Oh my God, Becky. Look at her butt. It is so big.”

I might be content to suggest that everyone with a brain and a pulse knows that merely saying the words, “Oh God” doesn’t prove one believes in God any more than saying, “Holy crap” proves one finds their bowel movements somehow divine.

And yet, the subtle nuance of language, of words and the ideas we attach to them, urges me onward.

Consider that a great many Catholics profess to believe that when a priest blesses a communion cracker, and they ingest it, the cracker becomes the literal body of Christ. This is the Doctrine of Transubstantiation, composed of mere words, and yet look at the consequences. Not only is this one step short of ritual cannibalism, such a stance tacitly acknowledges that after eight to ten hours of digestion, the believer then excretes the nutritionally useless parts of the body of Christ into the toilet.

Holy crap, indeed.

Further, this casts the Great White Throne Judgement in the book of Revelation in a new light. With this in mind it seems only fitting this is where we find Jesus seated at the end of the world, as his believers have been routinely depositing him in their tiny white thrones for centuries now.

All in all, this supports my argument that the best proof against religious belief is often the beliefs themselves.

So why don’t we make a deal? How about we agree to let Dawkins off the hook for mistakenly uttering those two fateful words, and we’ll just look the other way as believers (either literally or symbolically) cannibalize their lord and savior and then flush him down the toilet.