Deprogramming : Doomsday Part II

By on November 20, 2011

Let’s start with what we do know: The world as we know it, the earth and humankind and Starbucks and everything you can imagine, will come to an end some day. We know this because we know the sun, like all stars, will eventually burn out. We also know that it’s possible to have another mass extinction like this planet experienced with the dinosaurs, and that could happen long before the sun dies.

How are we so narcissistic as to think that we will be the last generation on the planet when virtually every generation before us, at least as far back as apocalyptic religions go, has thought the same thing? Some go so far as to sell their houses and drain their bank accounts, completely blind to the fact that spreading the bad news of impending doom would do nothing to stop the world from ending if a god were actually behind it. This remains one of the best ways to jump start an almost guaranteed, tax-exempt income; Selling people their own unfounded fears back to them as bumper stickers and billboards crying out for last-minute conversions and just a few more dollars.

There is no real product, and there is no money back guarantee. There is only the embarrassment of having to return to your job the day after the prophecy fails with empty pockets and a silly reminder stuck to the back end of your car.

All this nonsense stands in stark contrast to real threats like nuclear war, an international economic meltdown or a large scale power-grid infrastructure crash a la Live Free or Die Hard; Things that, as unlikely as they may be, bear some connection to reality.

In this century alone the Watchtower Society, who are the “primary corporation for administration of Jehovah’s Witnesses’ activities worldwide”, has predicted the end of the world in 1914, -15, -18, -20, -25, -41, -75 and -94*. With this many radical disconfirmations in the space of only a few generations, it simply boggles the mind how there are still Jehovah’s Witnesses at all. Yet the group not only persists, they evangelize and gain new converts precisely because the world too quickly forgets.

Furthermore, this proves, unequivocally, that most Witnesses themselves have learned literally nothing from their own religion’s repeated failures.

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Individuals are smart. Many people and even some segments of society (like scientists, skeptics and freethinkers in general) can be expected to learn from their own mistakes or errors in judgment, as well as from the missteps of others; but for society as a whole, it seems hindsight is quite often nowhere near 20/20. Once blind faith enters the picture, the chances that true believers will learn anything useful from radical disconfirmation drops to virtually naught.

I’d love to see data on this front. I honestly wonder how many people deconvert when their prophets are shown to be unequivocally wrong. It’s the only logical move, but instead, we find countless examples of people not only rationalizing away such failures, but believing even more fervently in the aftermath.

So is there a way forward? In the face of such a pernicious, inexplicable tendency toward irrational fear of the unknown in the form of the doomsday prophecy du jour, do we have any hope of a more rational (I won’t say “brighter”) future? A time when real threats to humanity like arms proliferation or a general disrespect for the environment will finally become our first priorities?

It’s possible. But at the moment, frankly, I’m stumped. I have some preliminary ideas, and you can expect to hear more from me on such topics in the future. What I need at the moment is more evidence. What I don’t need is a scripture to meditate on, a comet or constellation to lead the mother ship home, or a new Bible code to decipher.

The Bible is clearly flawed on this topic, as Jesus himself failed as a prophet more than once. He couldn’t even be sure how long he’d be dead in the ground, nor how long it would take him to return after his ascension. Some of his contemporaries took him at his word on the latter, changing their lives in radical ways, yet when nothing happened and they all died off without seeing their messiah’s return, their budding religion inexplicably (or should I say, “predictably”) flourished for centuries to come.

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One prediction you can take to the bank is that come December 21, 2012, barring real threats like a global pandemic or an asteroid the size of Texas hurtling toward the planet, I’ll be having yet another “It’s (Not) The End of The World” party. At least once every hour REM will be playing on the stereo, tongue clearly placed in cheek, and we’ll probably be showing some B-Movie disaster flick on the TV to create an appropriate backdrop.

Do I predict that our species will finally, collectively learn its lesson come December 22 when the world goes on spinning and we all carry on with our holiday plans? Honestly, no. But there’s a prediction where I’d love to be wrong.

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* For a more exhaustive yet incomplete list of failed end of the world prophecies, click here.

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Deprogramming Series

An Introduction

They Will Only Make You Feel Ugly

I Might Be Wrong

Doomsday Part I

Doomsday Part II

Discussion

Dan Donche

Awesome article. I honestly can’t say anything contentious about/towards it, so I’ll simply exit by saying that when I write my own satire on how to create your own religion and have it flourish, I want your thoughts on it, pre-pub.

Anthony David Jacques

Ha, I’d love to. Definitely keep me in the loop, Dan.

Matthew Rehlinger

Dan, what you need is a sacred text, one that was delivered to you in some way by some form of deity or demi-urge. Definitely go with one god over many, as people will line up to the tune of monotheism much more quickly than polytheism, and you’ll make more money because for some reason people like the idea of one deity better these days. Also, it’s easier to come up with a personality for one god, you don’t have to be creative and assign multiple gods to different roles. Heaven forbid that you should have to use some creative energy in creating your belief structure. Also, implement characters in your sacred text that try to goad your followers into some sort of action, presumably giving you money. I personally love how Paul would cleverly talk about which churches were giving him gifts and which ones weren’t and imply that God would only bless the ones who gave the most, all while not sounding greedy at all, by diverting attention to what God wants. Remember, what your deity wants, make that secretly be what you want. Also try to get too caught up in your scheme until you start to believe it yourself, it will make the lying both easier and more believable. That’s all I got right now.

Anthony David Jacques

Matt, always great to hear from you.

If I ever wanted to lose my morals and become the next L. Ron Hubbard, I’d definitely be getting hold of you and Dan up there for a brainstorming session.

Good stuff.

How to Skin a Cat | ManArchy Magazine

[...] the corner. In fact, the Watchtower Society has already predicted the annihilation of the world no less than eight times in the twentieth century: 1914, -15, -18, -20, -25, -41, -75 and -94 and it’s no little known [...]

Dan Donche

Total awesome advice, Matthew. Yeah, monotheism is the way to go, because people are too lazy to keep track of all the different ones. In fact, I watched a History channel thing on the Dark Ages and that was one of the selling points of Christianity. “We only have one god to keep track of.” Of all the things they pitched, that was the final nail in the coffin of polytheism.

Tim the Ietsist

The moral of the story is that if things don’t make sense under your current worldview, YAHOO! (You Always Have Other Options!) Although I have a degree in biology, I was baptized into the Christian church when I was 24. Ten years later, after studying quantum mechanics and modern physics on my own out of curiosity, reason has finally overcome superstition. There are many intelligent and creative Christian apologists (such as Lee Strobel) that temporarily tempered my dissatisfaction with the dissonance between science and theology. In the end, I found Christianity to be logically incoherent, self contradictory, and inconsistent with scientific knowledge and my own personal experience. I don’t purport to have the answers, but there is definitely ample evidence that indicates religion in general is unreliable. I don’t go so far as to consider myself an atheist because I think there necessarily must be some absolute element of existence that underlies everything telse that has ever been or ever will be. My conceptualization of this phenomenon resembles the concept of a deity (“God”), but I cannot reasonably infer anything more about it. Science has always been successful at debunking man’s attempts to characterize this single most fundamental mystery. Being free from religion, I realize I know even less about the cosmos than I thought, but this admission has brought me tremendous peace because what I do understand is in perfect harmony with what I experience. People who follow various religions must literally allow themselves to be deluded in order to avoid the agonizing cognitive dissonace that occurs when trying to reconcile science with their belief system. I suffered from periods of severe depression because I couldn’t have the relationship with God my delusion led me to expect. Fortunately, I didn’t suffer from the ultimate delusion: assuming infallibility while permanently disregarding evidence or the lack thereof. I was different from many Christians in that I also associated with non-Christians and respected their intelligence and pursuit of truth enough that I was humble enough to consider the possibility that they were right. Sometimes it is wonderful to be totally wrong!

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